Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Chapter 18

In the blog of Mark Reads Harry Potter, SHIT GETS REAL AND You ARE Not PREPARED! Intrigued? And so it's time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

After suffering through Twilight, Mark decided to embark on the projection of reading Harry Potter (which they'd never read before) and review it on their web log 1 chapter at a time and even though at the beginning they were not quite sold now it'south Real HARD considering THIS Series IS And so Amazing AND ADDICTIVE AND J. K. ROWLING IS A FUCKING GENIUS! they WAS Not PREPARED FOR THIS SHIT! Cheque IT OUT Right NOW!

The issue was an ballsy, five-month journeying through all seven books of the Harry Potter series, finishing the series on October 30th, 2010. they are now re-reading the series.

See also Mark Reads Twilight. Mark is also at present branching into other series, including Firefly, The Hunger Games and Md Who. Check them out!

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Tropes include:

• Aborted Arc: Mark gave upwardly reading My Immortal subsequently a rape joke in Chapter 20.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Before their review of Goblet of Fire Chapter ten, Mark says "There'southward too a great bargain of commentary on slavery, oppression, privilege, and why Percy is so goddamn annoying."
• Author Catchphrase:
  • "Shit gets real" and "you lot are/I am not prepared", the latter having been started past their followers during their Twilight weblog.
  • Their friend Kasper coined the phrase, "Haters, please familiarize yourself with the left-hand evacuation procedure", which Mark at present uses regularly.
  • They eat potato babies because they is a godless sodomite. Which is at present a gif. Generally information technology's just the potato babies that people quote.
  • They brainstorm all their reviews with a brusque summary of the chapter, followed past "Intrigued? And then information technology's time for Mark to read Harry Potter."
  • GIFs. Lots and lots of GIF dear.
  • "Dice in a fire." and variations, when referring to characters they doesn't like.
• Berserk Button:
  • The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will about certainly piss them off. Especially Umbridge.

    Marking: Yous worthless, authority-obeying, mindless slice of shit. I cannot remember a literary character Always filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS I Have READ THE Unabridged FUCKING Twilight Series. I volition seriously have the entire four books of Bella whining over Ever reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON'S WORDS EVER Once more.

  • Two downplayed ones with regard to Rowling's writing: her habit of recapping the previous story in each book's first few chapters, and her habit of Harry finding things out by overhearing conversations.
• Bold Inflation: The opening to this page should give you an idea how Mark uses ALL CAPS to MAKE A POINT. Also italics, regular bold text, and sometimes fifty-fifty ENLARGED TEXT. And random mashing of the keyboard for rage.

• Disproportionate Retribution:
  • Please stop posting any sort of spoilers or hints to the future in the comments or I will Voldemort your entire family and then create a basilisk to eat you lot alive.
  • During Affiliate 3 of Guild of the Phoenix, Mark inserts themselves into the story to express their excitement at seeing the return of both Lupin and Moody. Everyone finds them annoying, and Moody eventually stuffs them into the Dursleys' oven and turns the heat up to maximum. they Gets Ameliorate.
• Early Installment Weirdness: Marking's reviews of the first few chapters of the first volume were snarky and cavalier. Then they was won over by the chapter where Hagrid shows up at the Hut-on-the-Stone so all was right with the world. Those offset few chapters were a holdover from the other serial they had read and blogged about: Mark hated Twilight with a passion.
• Fanboy: They unabashedly admire the series, faults and all. Although they are quick to bash any faults they find, but nigh of the time something else that's awesome distracts them.
• Hypocritical Humor: Chapter iv of Order of the Phoenix has Marker semi-seriously telling Harry to, among other things, stop yelling at people, in all-caps.
• Horrible Approximate of Graphic symbol:
  • In one isolated incident, Marking gave this prediction virtually Umbridge in Chapter 11 of Order of the Phoenix.

    I don't feel she's evil anymore. Shoot me. I know nosotros're supposed to recollect she's this forboding graphic symbol who will fuck everything up, but come on. She cannot exist that bad merely because she'due south "traditional" in some sense. I hateful, she will probably be hard, simply information technology'll exist an interesting mode to bring upwards some sort of conflict between Harry and her. Or maybe Hermione. Simply yeah. I'thou not buying this whole "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY Detest HER IMMEDIATELY" matter.

  • Yous tin can gauge how they responded to the following 2 chapters.

    OH, Only FUCK EVERYTHING. Do yous know how unbelievably embarrassed I am for that last review? Practise you realize how foolish I experience at this very moment for what I wrote?

    Nosotros are not going to talk virtually Binns. We are not going to talk about Snape. We are not going to talk near Trelawney. We are not going to talk almost how this chapter has of a sudden turned into Harry Potter and the Bickering Bickerers.

    We are going to talk virtually Dolores FUCKING Umbridge.

    I'll only start off this way:

    FUCK. Y'all.

• Killed Mid-Sentence: Poor Hedwig :'(
• Lighter and Softer: Mark Reads Twilight was Mark constantly ranting at the sheer stupidity of the characters, the plot destruction, the racism, etc., while this blog is Marker thoroughly enjoying reading a good serial.
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: [Person] [verbs] all the [nouns]. (Hermione knows all the things, Umbridge should die in all the fires).
• Medium Awareness: A staple of their Harry Potter: A Play segments.

  HARRY: You wouldn't believe it. I just spied on a hush-hush conversation between Snape.

  [Dramatic music.]

  HARRY: they is TOTALLY planning on stealing the Sorcerer's Stone.

  [Music rises in pitch and tempo.]

  HARRY: I call back Quirrell put some anti-Nighttime Arts spell on the room, too!]

  HARRY: I don't know. It's been following me all twenty-four hours.

  HERMIONE: Wait, so...Quirrell is the but thing protecting the Magician's Stone?

  RON: Dudes. That's like trying to protect a vault with tissue paper.

  NEVILLE: What? I thought information technology fit.

• "Non Making This Up" Disclaimer: Sometimes shows up in their footnotes when quoting straight from the source cloth during their Harry Potter: A Play reviews.
• OOC Is Serious Concern: It's pretty clear how much Mark loves Hagrid: The offset affiliate hour's introduced, Mark already wants to marry him. Carry in heed that Marker more often than not has no involvement in wedlock, equally their Twilight reviews fabricated clear.
• Perverse Sexual Animalism: Marking has declared Hagrid their leather daddy swain.

• Script Fic: The Harry Potter: A Play segments, some other holdover from their Twilight reviews.
• Something Completely Different: Mark has reviewed capacity from the point of view of characters, including Hedwig more one time, transcribed IM conversations they had with their friend Kasper while reading the chapter for the offset fourth dimension, and more.
• Take That!: Quite a few against Twilight.
  • These typically accept the course of Mark mocking Stephenie Meyer whenever they find a good example of Show, Don't Tell, the lack of such in Twilight existence an early complaint they had.
  • In the last chapter of Deathly Hallows, Mark has Cedric get up to Harry and co and talk about how he's "spent the terminal five years trapped inside a volume that glorifies corruption, shame, and mediocrity" following their death, a reference to the fact that him and Edward Cullen are portrayed by the same actor.
• You Are Non Ready: YOU ARE Non PREPARED .

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Blog/MarkReadsHarryPotter

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